Wednesday, June 2, 2010

What's next

So I have been in Korea for a little over a week and things are going great. I am meeting new people, finding quality relationships, living on my own for the first time in my life and its kind of funny I am kind of a freak about certain things.
I never realized that I like having things in order. part of me thinks that I am just coping with leaving home by trying to control everything and keep it orderly. Or maybe I have turned into the little guy that my mom has been begging since I started making messes. I mean I pick up after myself and do my laundry, iron, grocery shop and even have all of my dvd's in alphabetical order.
So life is going pretty good. I mean its almost like things are going too good. It has been a crazy transition and without a few setbacks it has been pretty fluid and seamless. That is what scares me honestly. The fact that things are going so good, I mean maybe I am just weird but I have expected something to go wrong. Something to be wrong with my visa, something to be wrong with my apartment, job,people something. But things have been great. I am really blessed. So I was thinking I know its only been one week and I have a long time here and a long journey ahead of me but when is the floor gonna drop and when am I going to get hit in the face with reality.

This morning I was talking with a dear friend and she said, "maybe things will really just be this good, you just got out of a hard season and maybe its time for an easy season." It was so good to hear that because honestly for me it seems like life is dealing with one bad season after the other and God lets us have glimpses of peace and ease every once in a while. But what if God has something in store for me that will last. I was hanging with a new friend the other day and I was talking to her about life verses and I asked if she had one and she said no. I told her I had like 4 and she was impressed (an added bonus). But I was telling her that I look at life verses like promises that the Lord has specifically spoken to me. The bible is full of promises but my life verses are almost like God wrote them for me specifically. So one of my biggest life verses is NUMBERS 6:24-26 The Priestly blessing is what is called in my Bible. But Lloyd always says it to us at the end of church. "May the Lord bless you and keep you and be gracious to you, May the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace." That is exactly how I have felt the last few months of this journey. That the Lords hand and blessing is all over it. So what if the floor never drops out, what if I am happy. What if I find love and it actually sticks, what if I actually do a good job at my job, what if i get rewarded for doing a good job. what if people really do love me in spite of my lack and what if my dreams could come true.

So when I think about what's next I think about what is the next problem I am going to have to handle but what if God is having me think of how to handle the next blessing he has for me.


1 comment:

  1. You never cease to make me grow as a person... Buckman, you have grown into a person who consistently causes me to stretch myself and reexamine who I am and should be. I cant wait for the next post... Im glad i finally got this website.

    ps... They always ended mass at rockhurst with that prayer. I always liked it but couldnt really explain why. I think you nailed it on the head.